Torchwood Randoms
by featherkitten
Summary: in which Ianto,Tosh and Owen aren't dead.Janto
1. Forgotten

Jack:bye Ianto.

Ianto:Jack aren't you forgetting something?

Jack:oh right.

Jack passionately kisses Ianto.

Ianto:I meant the file.


	2. Problem

Tosh:sorry Ianto but still no luck on curing your cat ears and tail problem.

Ianto:at least I got the purring under control now.I'll see you later Tosh.

Soon Tosh hears a purring sound and Ianto yelling: "Damn it Jack!"


	3. Sick

Guest-thanks for review it sounded like you put a lot of thought into it and it's nice to know you believe in me, although I like writing with colons.

PCJanto- I'm glad you liked the first two chapters.

* * *

Ianto wobbled a little and tried not to fall. The room was too cold and it wouldn't stop spinning. He looked up at Jack or rather Jacks. He couldn't remember the two other Jacks coming maybe they weren't Jack,maybe Jack had two twin brothers he hadn't told him about or they were clones. The three Jacks or brothers looked concerned for some reason.

"Why are there three of you?"Ianto asked.

"There aren't,"Jack replied."Ianto are you OK?"

"I'm fine,"Ianto said. It was the bloody room's fault if it would only stop spinning for one moment he could regain his balance. Jack find his walked over to his barely standing Welshman and put his hand gently onto Ianto's forehead.

"Your burning up,"Jack said.

"No I'm not,"he said. Ianto wasn't going to let Jack send him home regardless of whether or not there were three Jacks.

"Yes you are your the hottest thing in this room,next to me of course," he said with a wink. "And your going home even if I have to carry you there myself which by the look at you I probably will."

"I'm not sick I just need the room to stop spinning,"Ianto insisted.

"Carried home it is then,"Jack said and he scooped Ianto- who was really trying to put up a fight-up in his arms and carried him bridal style downstairs.

"I'm really glad that there's only one of you!"

"Your feverish Yan,you don't know what your saying."

"Yes I do!"Ianto tried to punch Jack but he was too weak to really hurt the immortal but it did make carrying him difficult so Jack decided to carry him over his shoulder instead.

Ianto:at least get your hand off my ass!

Eventually they reached outside of the hub which was when Jack heard the familiar sound of the TARDIS and then saw the Doctor go out and say "Why are you kidnapping that poor man?"

Jack:I'm not kidnapping him.

Ianto:yes you are!

The Doctor:it certainly looks and sounds like your kidnapping even have him slumped over your shoulder.

Jack:he's sick but he won't admit it and go home so I'm carrying him I tried carrying him bridal style but he kept punching my face.

Ianto:I am not sick!

The Doctor:so you are kidnapping him.

Jack:OK fine I'm kidnapping him but I have a good reason. It's not my fault he's stubborn.

Ianto could feel the blood rushing to his head making him even dizzier."I think I'm going to be sick."

Jack:you already are sick.

Ianto barfed all over Jack's backside."Now do you believe that your sick?"Jack demanded.

Ianto groans."Take me home."

The Doctor:I can fly you there in my TARDIS.

"I don't think that's safe,"Jack never doubted The Doctor before but then again he also never had to make sure a sick Ianto got home safely before."What if ends up in the wrong place?I'll just drive him Doctor."

Ianto :don't I get a say in this?

Jack:no you don't.

The Doctor:bye Jack and bye...I'm sorry but I never got your name.

Ianto:Jones,Ianto Jones.

The Doctor:see you around Jones,Ianto Jones.

Ianto Jones:bye.

And so The Doctor left in his TARDIS and Jack managed to get Ianto home and tucked into bed.

* * *

Which version of the Doctor showed up is up to you. Doctor was originally going to say "why are you kidnapping your fiancee?" because I have an AU in my head in which The Doctor shows up a lot later to pick up Jack and when he shows up Jack and Ianto are engaged but that one sentence might have made this drabble confusing although "why are you kidnapping your fiancee" would have probably been more funny.


	4. Heavenly

Jack:mmm,tastes heavenly.

Ianto:me or the coffee?

"Both,"he answered and he kissed Ianto again.


	5. Red

Star Trek Torchwood crossover.

* * *

Spork:your pick up lines are illogical.

Kirk:I'm straight.

Captain Jack Harkness:by the way I'm looking for a friend of mine have either of you seen-

Ianto walks in wearing a red shirt which Jack wrestles off of him.

Ianto:what have I told you about undressing me in public?

Jack:you were wearing a red shirt!Everyone on this ship wearing a red shirt dies!

Kirk:really?I never noticed that.

Ianto:still you could have told me.

Jack:by the time I told you you could have been dead!Why were you wearing that red shirt anyway?

Ianto:I was trying to blend in nearly everyone on the ship is wearing a red shirt.

Jack:that can't be a good sign.


	6. Learning

Owen:I should learn to speak Weevil.I am the Weevil King after all.

Tosh:I don't think learning an alien language is going to be easy.

Owen:yeah but think of how much easier it would make catching weevil besides how hard could it be.

Learning weevil proved to be very hard.

Ianto:if you keep trying to speak weevil I think the weevils will over throw you.

Owen:shut up teaboy.


	7. Miscommunication

For some reason I can totally imagine John Hart wearing a pink apron while he's struck in the time loop with Jack. The drabble is set when Jack and John are struck in the time loop.

* * *

Jack:when I said we should have the neighbors over I meant invite them over not kidnap them!

John:there is no pleasing you sometimes.


	8. Comfy

Warning:Mpreg.

* * *

Ianto:it's a special pillow that your supposed to use when your pregnant it's to help you sleep.

Jack sets the pillow aside."I appreciate the thought but your comfier."And he pulled Ianto into a cuddle.

Ianto:I guess buying that pillow was pointless then.

Jack:no it wasn't,plenty of things we can do with a pillow.


	9. Collar

I was originally going to draw this but then I remembered I can't scan things onto my laptop and I have no idea how to draw any of the Torchwood characters.

* * *

Gwen:you guys I don't think we're in Cardiff anymore.

Jack:looks like we're in Wizard of Oz and from Gwen's braids and dress and my leash and collar I'm guessing I'm Toto and Gwen is Dorthy.

Ianto:I don't remember Toto having a collar. Also who am I then?I'm not even Toto!

Jack:aw,I'll let you wear my collar.

Ianto:I don't want to wear your collar.

Jack:pity it is your color.

Gwen:uh,guys I think the hub landed on someone.

* * *

I'll do a few more chapters like this but don't worry I'll probably be back to Janto fluff soon.


	10. Slippers

Then weevils dressed like munchkins started doing what looked like dancing and singing.

Gwen:I wonder where Owen and Tosh are.

Then The Doctor suddenly appeared in a bubble.

Jack:Doctor!You're the good witch?Nice dress by the way.

The Doctor:um,I'm supposed to ask her (points to Gwen)if she's a good witch but yeah I am.

The Master:give me the red ruby slippers!

The Doctor:when did you get here?

Gwen:when did the slippers get on my feet?Also I'm not taking them off!

Then Gwen tapped her feet together and said "There's no place like home," three times but nothing happened.

The Doctor:sorry but you have to go to the Wizard of Oz for that to work but don't worry Wicked Witch here (points to the Master)can't get the slippers.

The Master:I will get those slippers!(To Gwen)I'll get you my pretty and your little dog and coffee boy too.

Then he disappears and Gwen,Jack and Ianto follow the yellow brick road.


	11. Brain

Ianto'sCoffeeMinion: thanks I'm glad you like that chapter.I really like your username.

Pegaz: :D I'm glad you liked the chapter.

* * *

Eventually Jack,Ianto and Gwen came across a swearing scarecrow.

"Bloody birds always sitting on me,"the scarecrow said.

Gwen: Owen?

Scarecrow:yep that's me Owen the the bloody hell do you want?

Ianto: we're off to see the Wizard want to come along so you can get yourself a brain?

Owen: ha ha very funny. What are you going to ask for anyway? A new chew toy for your boyfriend?

Ianto realized that he was indeed holding Jack's leash (not that Jack was complaining)so he blushed and let go.

"No," Ianto answered."We need the Wizard to send us home." He was surprised Owen didn't want a brain. How much more different was this going to be than the movie? This could end up much more dangerous than he first thought.

Owen: but it would be nice to be human again. I died once and then I was brought back as a scarecrow. I can't eat,sleep or have sex and I'm forced to stay in this field all day and put up with bloody birds. Hell with it I'm coming with you before the farmers come back.

Jack: great. I'm Captain Jack Harkness.

Ianto: Jones,Ianto Jones.

Gwen: I'm Gwen Cooper.

And so they went off to see The Wizard.


	12. Again

While Ianto,Gwen,Jack and Owen were walking Ianto saw a familiar face.

"Lisa!"he called out and went over to oil the tin woman version of Lisa who once oiled chased after them with an ax.

Owen:you just had to oil the tin woman didn't you Ianto?

Jack:quick though the river!

So they ran though the river and the tin woman followed them and rusted.

Gwen:err,sorry about Lisa.

"It's not your fault,"Ianto replied but he wondered how many more times he was going to lose Lisa.


	13. Home

After meeting the un-confident lion who turned out to be Tosh,saving Gwen from being blown up by The Master and then melting The Master with water they went back to The Wizard who surprisingly enough was Andy. Maybe the dream or whatever this is is running out of people Jack knows as all the other major characters where people he knew but that seemed unlikely as Jack had been around for a very long time.

Anyway Andy said "You had the brains all along " to Owen even though it had been Tosh's brilliant plan that had saved Gwen and defeated the master."Screw brains! I want my old body back!" was Owen's reply.

Next he said "You had the courage all along," to Tosh which was true."Thank you," she replied.

Then Andy had offered to take Gwen,Jack and Ianto home in a hot air balloon but it flew off as soon as he stepped in. Then The Doctor showed up to tell Gwen to click her feet together three times and say there's no place like home and she did.

Gwen,Jack,Ianto,Tosh and Owen woke up outside the hub.

Gwen: I just had the weirdest dream.

"I don't think that was a dream," Ianto said pointing to the ruby red slippers still on Gwen's feet.


	14. Worry

Sorry about ending last plot line on a cliff hanger. Anyway this chapter is set in an AU in which both Ianto and Jack are agents for MI6. If anything inspired me for this it was probably all the 00Q fanfiction I've been reading.

* * *

Jack: oh Ianto's going to kill me!

James Bond: you've just exploded a national land mark, lost the bad guy, been spotted by a Hell lot of people and your dying but your worried about what your QuarterMaster is going to think about you destroying a gadget?

Jack: Ianto spent a lot of time making it and he's very cruel in his punishments.

James Bond: I bet Q wishes I was that considerate.

* * *

I hope this wasn't out of character for Jack or James Bond.


	15. Father Ianto

Ianto had gone undercover as a priest to defeat an alien that looked like a demon. Jack had defeated the alien which once killed had exploded into green slime covering Ianto and everyone else in the room expect for Jack who then started kissing Ianto not caring about the slime. He didn't even limit the kisses to Ianto's mouth.

Ianto: Jack your mentally scarring people.

Jack: so? I'm going to retcon them later anyway.

Ianto: this has got to be one of your weirdest fetishes.

* * *

For some reason I can totally imagine this happening.


	16. Thoughts

AU in which all the Torchwood characters or at least all the team members of Torchwood met before at Hogwarts.

* * *

Jack looked around."What? I'm the only one who figured out how to open the book?" Jack asked.

Ianto: yes Jack it looks like your the only one who thought to stroke a book that was trying to bite your hand off. I'd hate to think of what else you did to the book.

Hargrid: Oi!No flirturin' durin' class.

Ianto: but I wasn't flirting.

* * *

This about the Monster book of monsters from the third Harry Potter book. Jack would have totally figured out how to use that book. As for houses I figure Jack-Slytherin, Tosh and Ianto-Ravenclaw, Owen-Gryffindor and Gwen would either be Gryffindor or Hufflepuff.


	17. Therapist

What if Torchwood had a therapist?

OC and spoilers for Cyberwoman and Adam

* * *

Dr. June Smith was Torchwood's therapist. Owen didn't think she was a real doctor and Gwen had found the fact that there was a therapist who wouldn't think you were crazy when you started talking about aliens weird but ended up being a daily patient of June's. June felt sorry for Gwen, the girl had too much heart for this type of work.

As for the others, Ianto didn't start confiding in her until after the Cyber woman indecent. He had been so broken up about it and she was surprised when he got over it and started sleeping with Jack, although she supposed she should have seen it coming as the two men had had sexually tension since day one. Captain Jack Harkness hadn't really opened up to begin with and she wondered if he came to therapy just to flirt with her (not that she minded) but eventually he talked more-mostly about Ianto. June had known that Ianto and Jack were in love long before they did.

Tosh and June became good confided in each other and June thought that Tosh would have made a better therapist than she did.

Then there was Adam, she just knew there was something suspicious about him. He kept touching the members of Torchwood and saying "Don't you remember?" and she didn't have any notes on him. She had taken notes in her journal on all the members of Torchwood even Owen, in fact there was more notes on Owen than there were on Gwen. she was surprised when she noticed how wrong her notes on Owen and Tosh were but when she found out that Adam had been manipulating their memories she decided her notes probably weren't wrong after all.

When everyone recounted a memory what June said was "I remember the first time I found out aliens were real. I always knew really but it was nice to know I wasn't crazy even though finding out involved holding a head."

Owen: you are crazy.

"Owen,June don't fight,"Jack said before handing her an amnesia pill.

She thought back to what Jack had said to Adam about being proud of his team and was she sorry that she wouldn't remember that Jack was proud of her-not that remembering that would have made up for the memory manipulation but it was nice to be appreciated.


	18. Road Trip

Beca Harkness-Jones: thanks for the alert and fave.I love your username

Ianto'sCoffeeMinion:thanks for the alert and fave.

Celestial Slytherin-Black: thanks for the alert and fave.I like your username.

Janto.456:for some reason your username sounds like a type of gun to me. Thanks for the alert.

jules69 & powertoo: thanks to both of you for putting this in your story alerts.

I'm going to Bali in a few days,I'll try to make more chapters when I get back.

* * *

Jack was sitting between Owen and Ianto so he had to deal with their arguing. Then the car served and Owen ended up- completely by accident- kissing Ianto. Jack pulled Owen off Ianto and kissed Ianto.

Owen: bloody hell Gwen you could have killed us!

Gwen:there was a cat on the road.

Tosh:the important thing is that no one got hurt.

Owen:that's not going to get the taste of teaboy out of my mouth.

Ianto:your the one who suggested that we all have sex.

Jack:he did?When?Why wasn't I invited?

Owen:the world was ending!And no Jack we did not all have sex so you didn't miss out on anything.

Jack:I still hope that I'm there for the next end of the world.

Ianto:I think you will be soon, the world's always ending.


	19. Ianta

Gender bending!

* * *

Jack:what's a female version of Ianto?Ianta?

Ianto:you are not calling me Ianta.

Jack:why not?

Ianto:because it's bad enough that I've been turned into a woman the last thing I need is a horrible name like Ianta.

Jack:Ianta isn't that bad,besides how bad can being a woman be?

Ianto:it's pretty bad.

Jack:what name do you want then?

Ianto:I don't know.I'm hoping I won't stay like this for long.

Owen:OI!Teaboy get me a coffee!

Ianto:_teagirl_ and don't call me that!

Owen:there's no difference just get me a coffee.

Ianto:yes there think that you of all people would know the difference between girl and boy since your a doctor.

Owen:fine,Ianta get me a coffee.

Ianto:don't call me that!

Owen:can I have a coffee or not?

"NO!"Ianto shouted before storming out of the Gwen walked in.

Gwen:what's her problem?

Owen:oh Ianta is just being her usual emotional self.

Ianto:I HEARD THAT!

And despite Ianto's protests the name Ianta stuck.


	20. Cute

I remember reading somewhere that cats sleep up to fourteen hours a day.

* * *

"EEEEE!"

The Doctor:what?Who's attacking?

Martha:this is just too cute!

The Doctor:all their doing is lying on the couch.

Martha:it was cuter when they were sleeping!

Jack and Ianto still lay on the couch,although thanks to Martha they were no longer sleeping. Ianto was lying on top of Jack who had one hand on one of Ianto's cat ears and the other hand on Ianto's waist. Ianto's 's cat tail was curled around Jack's leg and he had been purring a bit in his sleep. He hissed angrily at Martha which she found cute as well.

"By the way before I forget again I remembered how much people petting your ears annoyed you and I found you a hat,"Jack said and he got a WWII Captain's hat out of this coat (which surprised Ianto as he didn't remember Jack's coat ever having any pockets) and he put the hat on Ianto's head.

Ianto:but this hat suits your outfit better and the TARDIS has a wardrobe you didn't have to get me a hat.

Jack:I know but it looks adorable on you.

Ianto:I'm not sure if I trust your fashion advice anymore after all you did think that I looked amazing in a wedding dress.

Jack:you did look amazing in a wedding dress!

The Doctor:did you two get married?

Jack:no he just got stuck in a wedding dress. You know if it was up to me everyone would be a lot more fashionable.

Ianto:no if it was up to you everyone would be naked.

Jack:yeah they would.

Ianto:don't imagine everyone naked while I'm lying on top of you.

Jack:oh you and your rules.

The Doctor:I'm going to leave before this conversation gets anymore disturbing. None of you scream unless there's actual danger.

And so The Doctor left the room.

"I still say you look adorable,"Jack told Ianto who purred in response.


	21. Neighbor

I love Janto: thanks I'm glad you liked it.

Guest:no,I've never heard of that book before but I googled it after reading your comment and it sounds interesting.

Guest:thanks and your welcome.

Beca Harkness-Jones:thanks for putting me on your author alert and author favorites.

While watching an episode of Sarah Jane Adventures I realized that Ianto and Sarah Jane becoming neighbors would have been awesome.

* * *

Ianto:Jack your supposed to be helping me move in not perving on the movers.

Jack:I can do both.

Ianto rolled his eyes and handed Jack a box.

"There's one of your neighbors by the way,"Jack said pointing the box in Sarah Jane's direction. Jack and Ianto called out hello but she barely acknowledged them.

"She seemed friendly,"Ianto said sarcastically."Now come on this stuff isn't going to move itself."Little did either of them know that they would soon be seeing her again.


	22. Expectations

Set after Jack came back from traveling with The Doctor. What if something bad had happened to Ianto while Jack was gone?What happened to Ianto I'll leave up to you.

* * *

"I'm sorry Ianto,"Jack said."If I had known,if I had been there-"

"There was no way you could have known and nothing you could have done,"Ianto said and it was the truth. At first Ianto had been mad at Jack but then he realized that Jack being there wouldn't have changed anything and he could hardly blame Jack for leaving,it had been a chance for Jack to possibly cure his immortality and he had waited several centuries for The Doctor.

And Ianto expected Jack to never mention it again after that. He hadn't expected Jack to ask him if he needed to talk about what happened to him and he never expected Jack to ask him out,especially not in the broken state Ianto was in now. He could hardly sleep or work.

But I can still shag him, I suppose that's what matters to Jack,Ianto thought but he dated Jack anyway.

And when he woke up from the violent nightmares the experience had given him, he hadn't expected Jack to still be there or for Jack to hold and comfort him but Jack was sleeping over so often that he might of well have moved in. Ianto wouldn't put moving in without telling him past Jack.

"I love you,"Jack said one night surprising Ianto. And Jack hadn't expected Ianto to pull out of his embrace,get dressed and walk out into the street but Ianto did do that. Jack guessed that this was Ianto's way of saying I don't love you but what he knew was that Ianto was in no condition to wandering around at night so he followed after him.

* * *

Expected is repeated so much here because I think it fits the theme of the drabble.


	23. Heart

I'm back from Bali and I've been having computer problems.

Ryn 14:thanks for the alert

Maybe I should have drawn this instead,oh well. Sorry it's so short.

* * *

"You always said that she was the heart of Torchwood,"the Master said before throwing a card towards Jack. Jack picked the card up, it was the Queen of Hearts and the Queen looked just like Gwen.


	24. Costume

I know it's out of season but I just love Halloween.

* * *

Jack's fangs touched Ianto's neck as he wrapped his arms around Ianto who rolled his eyes.

"Happy Halloween Jack."

"Thanks,I also picked out a costume for you."

"I'm not wearing it."

"You don't even know what it is yet!"

"But I know you."

"Please,"Jack pleaded giving Ianto puppy dog eyes.

"No."


	25. Missed

Set after Miracle Day also spoilers for Children of the Earth.

* * *

Ianto woke up in thing he remembered was dying in Jack's arms. He wondered if he was immortal now. He tried to leave UNIT but it didn't take them long to figure out that Ianto was back to life and capture him and run tests on him.

When Ianto finally escaped he wanted to go see his family but didn't fearing that that would put them in danger. Then he tried to find Jack only to find out from Gwen and Rhys that Jack had left Earth because he thought that Ianto was dead and he didn't find the irony in that the least bit funny.

I hope I find you one day Jack,Ianto thought as he looked up at the night. He knew that Jack could be anywhere other than Earth and he wondered how long he had to find his Captain.


	26. Culprit

Owen: and the real culprit is...this random old lady.

The team exchanged confused looks with each other they had been fairly sure that this was alien related.

Old lady: and I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for bloody Torchwood and their Pterodactyl.


	27. My

"Oh you deserve a kiss for how you heroically saved all of us,"the woman said. But before Jack could say reply Ianto wrapped his arms around Jack's neck and kissed him.

When they finally stopped kissing Ianto said "_My_ dashing hero," emphasizing on the "my".

"My beautiful damsel in distress," Jack replied.

"I'm not a damsel," Ianto replied."Or in distress."

"But you are beautiful," Jack said and he gave Ianto another kiss.


	28. Normal

Warning: mpreg

* * *

While working for Torchwood Ianto had often wished that his life was more normal but as he looked at his sleeping pregnant husband he knew his life was even weirder now but for better or for worse he wouldn't have it any other way. Now if only he could figure out how to knit some booties...


	29. Wedding jitters

"Ianto once told me that it's not men for him it's just you," Rhiannon told Jack which was meant to calm him down but it instead just worried him even more.

"What if he realizes that he's still straight and runs off?" Jack asked. Rhiannon rolled her eyes.

"That won't come on, it's the bride not the groom who's meant to be late," she said.

"Ianto wouldn't like to know that you called him the bride."

"Well if you don't tell him about that and I won't tell him that you were worried he was going to turn out to be straight and run off."

"Deal." And they laughed.

"Now I have to go give Ianto away but if you don't show up at that altar Jack..."

"Don't worry I'll be there," Jack said. He just hoped that Ianto would be there too.

Later as Jack nervously waited at the altar Ianto nervously paced in his change room.

"What if Jack turns out to be straight and leaves me at the altar?"Ianto asked although Jack not already knowing his own sexuality sounded really unlikely to him.

Rhiannon sighed. Those two were more alike than they knew.

* * *

I'm worried that Ianto and Rhiannon are OOC in this but I'm pretty sure that Jack is in character.


	30. Ianto's sexuality

"It's not men it's just you Jack. So what does that make me?I'm not straight but I'm not gay either."

"Your hetroCaptain Jack Harknessexual."

"Jack I'm being serious."

"Hey some people will seriously swear that that's a sexuality."

"How many people?"

"I don't know I didn't count."

Ianto face palmed.


	31. Storm

The basic plot is Torchwood has to stay the night in a scary old house which might be haunted. Set somewhere before Something Borrowed. Can be seen as Gwen bashing.

* * *

Ianto felt childish, he knew the house wasn't haunted but it was creepy and there was a storm outside.

At least he had Jack to hold him. He wasn't sure why but he felt safe with Jack.

Gwen: I hope you two don't mind if I join you, it's too scary here to sleep alone.

Ianto did mind. Why didn't she go find Owen? But Jack said "The more the merrier" and Gwen climbed into Jack's bed. Ianto wasn't planning on moving over not that he could move over much as he was lying on top of Jack.

Then Tosh came and got into bed too after Jack invited her to join them.

"I know it's silly but storms scare me so much," Tosh admitted as she scooted in next to Gwen who to Ianto's annoyance moved in closer to Jack.

Then Owen came. "I'm not bloody scared," he insisted but he lay down next to Tosh anyway. Tosh blushed and Gwen looked annoyed. Ianto wondered if Gwen was jealous.

Jack: anyone up for an orgy?

Gwen sounded offended as if she wasn't already cheating on Rhys with Owen. Plus Ianto knew that she was attracted to Jack but he didn't know why that bothered him so much.

Everyone else turned down Jack too which Ianto was secretly thankful for because he really didn't want to share Jack especially not with Gwen.


	32. Dusting

Guest: I'm glad you loved it. Also thanks for correcting me.

* * *

Gwen: Ianto what are you doing?

"I'm just dusting an antique," Ianto replied as he dusted Jack who was lying on the couch. Gwen was confused by that answer but left anyway.

Jack: I am not an antique.

Ianto: your certianly old enough to be an antique

Jack: your certainly young enough to be spanked!

Then Jack took the duster out of Ianto's hand and pinned Ianto onto the floor and started tickling him with the duster.

"You take that back!" Jack demanded as he tickled Ianto. "I am not an antique!"

"I take it back!" Ianto eventually said inbetween laughs. Jack stopped tickling him but didn't get off Ianto.

Jack: good now about that spanking...

Ianto rolled his eyes. Neither of them noticed Owen walk in.

Owen: you two can't keep off each other for five minutes can you?

Jack tried to look innocent and said "Don't look at me I was just dusting." Ianto rolled his eyes and hit Jack with the duster.


	33. Tied up

Set before Cyberwoman and possibly before Gwen was on the team.

* * *

Ianto sighed. He was tied up in some weird alien goo with Jack and everytime one of them struggled the goo tightened and brought them closer. Jack was close enough to kiss-not that Ianto wanted to kiss him. What he wanted to do was check on Lisa which he knew he couldn't do with Jack around. He wondered what was taking Tosh and Owen so long with finding a way to get them out of the goo.

Jack: this reminds me off the time that I-

Ianto: if you do not shut up I'm ripping your mouth off!

Jack: kinky.

Ianto groaned. And he tried to ingore how good Jack smelt and felt. Stupid pheremones.


	34. Back

An alternative ending to Children of the Earth.

* * *

Ianto gasped and Jack kissed him long and hard. Really long.

Gwen: Jack your going to suffocate him. And we should get going.

Jack: welcome back to life Jones, Ianto Jones.

Then he scooped Ianto into his arms and walked out along with Gwen.

Ianto: Jack I can walk.

Jack: this is more romantic.

Ianto rolled his eyes but he was smiling. It was good to be back.

Ianto: I love you.

Jack: I love you more.

Gwen: it's good to have you back Ianto.

Ianto: thanks Gwen.


	35. Safe

Ianto: I feel safe with you.

Jack: of course you do what type of dashing hero would I be if you didn't?

They laughed. Then being completely serious Jack said "I feel safe with you Yan."

Ianto smiled and kissed Jack.


	36. Dream bigger

Inception crossover

* * *

"Oh I'm defintly not afraid to dream bigger," Jack said winking at Eames.

"I bet I can dream bigger than you can," Eames said winking back at Jack.

"Concentrate on the mission you two!" Arthur said while Ianto rolled his eyes.

Ianto: seriously Jack not the time or place.

Jack decided not to tell Ianto how much he sounded like The Doctor.

Jack: well maybe it's not the time but it's defintly the place, we are in a dream after all.

Eames: I couldn't have said it better myself. But it looks like we'll have to dream bigger later Captain.


	37. Curious

ShinobiTwin05: thanks for the alert.

Pegaz: thanks. I'm glad that you liked the chapter. On second thought maybe Ianto would be in Slytherien.

* * *

Jack and Ianto are stuck Jack's dream.

"I'm sorry Jack," Ianto said. He knew that he should have been more careful but he had wanted to know if Jack dreamed about him. Although looking back on it maybe he should have just asked Jack. "I guess curiousity just got the best of me."

Jack: are you curious about anything else? I bet experimenting is a lot more fun when not bound by the laws of reality.

Ianto: I should have known that you were going to say that.

Jack: we might as well make the most of this dream.

Ianto: maybe you should dream up a stopwatch.


	38. Silly

Ianto was stuck in a wedding dress. Oh Owen was never going to let him live this down.

"I know I look silly," Ianto said wondering why Jack wasn't laughing.

Jack: I think you look amazing.

Ianto: really?

Jack: yeah. But seriously you get stuck in clothes and you don't think to ask for my help?

Ianto: how silly of me.

Owen: .Oi! Come on you two love birds we still have work to do.


	39. In your shoes

Ianto: I feel silly.

Jack: you look adorable! My coat looks so cute on you!

Neither of them remembered why but they had decided to switch outfits. Jack's clothes were too big for Ianto and Ianto's suit was too small for Jack but Jack didn't seem to care about how silly they looked.

Jack: lighten up Ianto it's not like anyone is seeing us like this.

He had to admit that Jack had a point it was just the two of them alone in Jack's room.

Ianto: well you do look funny.

Jack: plus now we both know what it's like in each other's shoes and I've got to say your shoes are uncomfortable.

Ianto: at least I have good taste in shoes!

Jack: I have great taste in shoes! Speaking of which I once-

Ianto: I don't want to know!

Jack: aw and it was a good story too.

Ianto rolled his eyes. Several other agruments about each other's fashion sense followed but when they switched back clothes Jack was glad that his coat now smelled like Ianto and Ianto was glad that his suit smelt like Jack.

* * *

I'm not saying that Jack wouldn't look good in a suit he would but Ianto's suit would be too small for him. Ianto would look adorable in Jack's coat.


	40. Captain

Set some timeafter Jack and Ianto started dating

* * *

Ianto: Captain, beg. Stay. Rollover. Good boy.

Owen: house training Jack Ianto?

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Very funny Owen. I got a dog." Captain barked at Owen.

Owen: great now two captains will come when you call.

Ianto: I do not treat Jack like a dog!

"Not that I would object to being put on a leash," Jack said surprising Ianto who wondered how long Jack had been standing behind him. "Ianto I didn't know that you had a dog what's his name?"

Ianto: Captain.

"One captain just isn't enough for you is it Yan?" Jack said with a wink. Then Captain suddenly jumped onto Jack and started licking his face.

Ianto: down Captain! Bad boy! Get off him!

Gwen: shame on you Jack! I know you've only been dating Ianto for a while but- oh you meant the dog didn't you? I'm really sorry Jack!

Jack: don't sweat Gwen.

Ianto: yeah honest mistake.

Jack: your going to pay for that comment!

Ianto rolled his eyes. He wondered if Tosh was going to show up too.

Owen: maybe you should rename your dog Ianto and I don't mean Jack.

Ianto: but then he wouldn't come when I called. Besides it's not like everyone is going to think I'm talking to Jack when I'm talking to Captain.

But nearly everyone did even Jack.

* * *

I don't know what type of dog Captain would be. I think he would be a big dog but that doesn't narrow it down much.


	41. Men in Torchwood

Men in Black Torchwood crossover

biancaruth: thanks for the alert.

* * *

J:thanks man. So what was that thing? And which agent are you?

Ianto: that was a Weevil. And I'm-

Jack: not a man in black but he does look good in a suit.

K: their Torchwood.

J: why don't I know about Torchwood?

K: it's classified information and above your pay grade.

J: I really need a raise.


	42. Realization

Merlin Torchwood crossover

I love Janto: I'm glad you love it. :)

biancaruth: your welcome. I'm really glad you enjoyed it. :)

* * *

After spending some time with Ianto and Jack Gwaine came to a realization.

Gwaine: Ianto your Merlin and Jack is Arthur.

Ianto: excuse me?

Gwaine: I mean your a lot like Merlin and Jack is like Arthur.

Ianto: actually I think Jack is like you. I really don't see how Jack and I are anything like Arthur and Merlin.

Gwaine: Merlin and you are both pale, dark haired and blue eyed. Your both friends with your boss, loyal, sassy, quirky, smart and you both take care of your friends. Arthur and Jack are both blue eyed, leaders, warriors, loyal, bossy and both care more than they admit.

"Wow maybe Jack and I are reincarnations of Arthur and Merlin," Ianto said honestly surprised that he hadn't noticed the simalarties.

Gwaine: I wouldn't be surprised if you were.


	43. Torchwood Musical

biancaruth: I'm glad you like the reasoning.

Torchwood is airing where I live now even though the series has already ended.

* * *

Jack probably wasn't kidding about the aliens being extremely fond of musicals but Ianto didn't understand why he had to be extra careful with the artifact until he accidentally activated it. Now they were all stuck singing and dancing everything.

"I'm going to kill you for this," Owen sang to Ianto before doing a twirl.

"I told you to be careful," Jack sang to Ianto.

"You could have told me what the artifact did," Ianto angrily sang back to Jack.

"You wouldn't have believed me!" Jack sang. Which Ianto knew was true but still he could have warned them.

"It could be worse," Tosh sang. She was waltzing with Gwen.

Owen: I really hate this alien race.

Gwen: how am I going to explain this to Rhys?


	44. Animal Kingdom

biancaruth: me too! :)

junior051: thanks for the fave and alert. Possibly the last or one the last cat Ianto fics I'm going to type.

* * *

Tosh had thought she might have found the cure for Ianto's condition but getting rid of Ianto's cat ears . and tail problem it gave the rest of the team animal parts and covered Ianto in fur. Jack got dog ears and tail, Tosh owl wings and legs were hard for her to stand on, Gwen got beaver teeth and tail and Owen got dog ears and tail too fluffy pink dog ears and tail.

Ianto snickered at the site of Owen.

"Oh shut up," Owen said and he threw a ball of yarn at Ianto who couldn't help starting to bat the yarn around.

"I'm going to get you for this!" Ianto yelled at Owen as he batted the yarn. He hated it when he lost control of his cat side's urges.

Jack: You know I'm glad you didn't turn back Yan, I would have missed the naughty things you did with that tail.

Ianto blushed.

Owen: too much information!

Gwen: I hope we turn back soon. Especially Ianto no offense meant.

Ianto: I guess I must look scary.

Tosh: I'll go work on a new cure.

Owen: I'll go back to work.

Gwen: me too.

Ianto: somebody take this damn yarn away!

Jack picks up Ianto's ball of yarn. "Come on Ianto work to do." And he took Ianto to his office.


	45. Monster

Inusagi: yes someone does need all do a TW/HP crossover.

I love Janto: thanks.

biancurath: I hadn't noticed that I didn't give her a tail but at least she has wings. I would love to have a tail too.

* * *

Ianto was cursed. He was stuck as a monster, possibly forever. Jack pulled Ianto into his arms as Ianto cried.

Jack: don't worry we'll find a way to turn you back.

Ianto: and if we don't? What if I'm a monster forever?

"I know monsters Ianto and believe me your not a monster," Jack replied. _But I am, _he thought. "Besides it's not all bad. I bet there's lots of things you could do with that tail," Jack added with a wink.

Ianto smiled devilishly. "I can think of a few."

"That's quite a list."

"Meet you in your office?"

"Don't keep me waiting."


	46. Healing

Ianto bolted up gasping for air only to have Jack push him back down. Ianto was pleasantly surprised to see him.

"Your not fully healed yet," Jack said. No one was sure how but Ianto had recently ended up with the same healing ability as Jack.

"Will you stay?" Ianto managed to ask. The pain was excruciating and made it hard to speak.

Jack smiled and gently squeezed Ianto's hand. "Of course I will."


	47. Cake

biancurath: sorry when I saved the chapter some words went missing and I didn't notice. But I fixed the sentence. I'm glad to type scenes where those two aren't parted. :) Thanks and I did mean meet.

anonamus: a German Sheppard Labrador cross sounds good.

Set before Gwen joined Torchwood.

* * *

Ianto slapped Owen's hands away from the freshly baked chocolate cake."It's for Myfanwy."

"You made a chocolate cake for the pterodactyl?" Owen asked as he pulled his hand away.

"It's the anniversary of when Jack and I first caught her and Myfanwy loves chocolate,"Ianto explained not caring about how weird Owen thought he was.

"Who bakes a pterodactyl a cake?"

"I do, speaking of which I should probably get the cake to her now." Ianto carried the cake off looking for Myfanwy.

"Bloody crazy teaboy," Owen muttered under his breath.

* * *

Is Myfanwy male or female? I can't remember it's gender ever being mentioned in the series.


	48. Wake up

biancurath: I didn't know Myfanwy was a girl's name. Ianto probably would remember Owen's birthday. Maybe he wouldn't get him any cake though.

I love Janto: yeah he is a good tad.

* * *

Jack usually fell asleep and woke up before Ianto but occasionally Ianto had to drag Jack out of bed.

Ianto: Jack we're going to be late.

Jack: I feel sick.

Ianto: you don't get sick. 51st century immune system you said so yourself.

Jack cursed his luck. He really had to stop telling Ianto everything. "I don't want to go to work today."

"Well tough luck your going." Ianto tried to drag Jack out of bed but the immortal stubbornly clung to the bed as if his life depended on it. Ianto sighed."Jack if you don't get out now no coffee ever again."

Jack looked Ianto in the eyes."You wouldn't."

"I would, now go to work."

Jack reluctantly got out of bed.

"Seriously Jack I feel like your mother."

"Can't you let me sleep a bit more mommy?" Jack joked.

"Don't make me ground you."

"Wouldn't you rather give me a spanking?"

Ianto rolled his eyes and threw Jack his clothes.

* * *

Ianto mentioned watching Jack sleep in Deadline and I can totally imagine Ianto waking up to suddenly find Jack gone or having to literally drag Jack out of bed. I think Deadline was a radio play.


	49. Stuck

Jack: OW!OW! Be gentle!

Owen: well if you would stop moving I could get it out!Hey Teaboy come help me with this!

Ianto: wow it is really stuck.

Jack: ack! I think that was my kidney.

Owen: bloody hell how did you not die from this?

Jack: I don't know. Hey don't move it that way!

Hours later Ianto and Owen finally pulled the sword out of Jack's stomach. They couldn't get Jack back to the hub quickly enough and Owen didn't have any sedatives.

Jack: from now on your always carrying sedatives Owen. Also who the hell uses swords these days?

* * *

Regular people survive freak accidents pretty often so I wonder how many times Jack has nearly died.


	50. Kid Again

biancurath: I don't think Jack would really want to eat chocolate when he has a sword in his stomach. Yeah he does act like a five year old sometimes, poor Ianto.

* * *

Alien goo had somehow turned Jack into a five year old. The now kid Jack had for some reason decided to follow Ianto around the hub not letting him do any work.

Jack: (pointing to the coffee machine) what does that do?

Ianto sighed. "You already know what that does." Jack still had all his adult memories but he inisted on having Ianto remind him about everything.

Jack pouted. "I miss coffee. It's been too long since I had any."

"It's been twenty minutes."

"Exactly!"

"Coffee stunts your growth."

"Fifty-first century immune system."

"Your not getting any coffee. How about some hot chocolate?"

Jack's face lit up. "With extra marshmallows!"

Jack's idea of extra marshmallows turned out to be stuffing all the marshmallows into one cup and then pouring hot chocolate in. So Ianto had to deal with a now hyper five year old following him around.


	51. Dream on

I love Janto: yeah he does.

biancurath: wow your quick to comment. Yeah I did mean stunts. I can't remember if I ever did that to my hot chocolate.

What might happen if Jack talked in his sleep...

* * *

Ianto stared at Jack it was nice to see him sleeping peacefully and he wondered what he was dreaming about. Then Jack started to talk.

"Hmm...Doctor I didn't know you could do that with a screw driver," Jack mumbled. Ianto wondered if he should wake Jack, on one hand he had wanted to know what Jack dreamed about but on the other hand he really didn't want to hear Jack's fantasies about The Doctor.

"This coffee is even better than Ianto's." After that Ianto pushed Jack out of bed. No one made better coffee than him.

"Yan? What did I do?"


	52. Unexplainable

Ianto had seen some weird things while working in Torchwood but this took the cake, literally. He chased after it and it ran though a portal with Jack's birthday cake. Then the portal closed. Ianto cursed. How was he supposed to explain to Jack that a gremlin ran off with his birthday cake?


	53. Name

biancurath:Tact? I wonder what tactic Ianto would use. Yeah Jack really needs to watch his dream muttering.

* * *

Ianto and Jack were in Australia.

Jack: can you believe they have an actual place here called Cock burn?

Ianto: it's pronounced co-burn.

Jack rolled his eyes."Sure, it is Ianto sure it is.

* * *

I live Australia and I go to Cockburn on my way to work. It really is pronounced Co-burn but I can't help thinking the name is weird. As for what Jack and Ianto are doing in Australia, maybe they were sent there by alien technology or there on the run or their meeting up with an Australian Torchwood, Australia used to be part of England so it's possible.


	54. A place like this

biancurath: nice to know your an Aussie but actually I'm Russian.

* * *

"Isn't this a nice place to have a picnic?" Jack asked as he unpacked the picnic basket.

"My dad broke my leg here," Ianto said after a while.

"I'm sorry Yan, I didn't know."

"I don't know why I brought it up. The picnic was a nice thought really and it looks delicious."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. Pass the potatoes."

"Really we could move the picnic somewhere else."

"It's fine Jack."

"You know now it's going to be the place we had our first picnic together," Jack said as he passed the potatoes.

Ianto smiled.

* * *

The place where Ianto's dad broke Ianto's leg is shown in Children of the Earth.


	55. Mail

Kittycrush28: thanks for the alert.

* * *

The world had recently found out about aliens and Torchwood resulting in a lot of fanmail.

Jack: I don't get how they figured out where our hub is.

Ianto: well maybe if Owen hadn't ordered pizza under the name of Torchwood.

Owen: I swear I stopped doing that. Why do we have to look though all the fanmail anyway?

Ianto: because one of our fans might actually have an alien artifact or really seen an alien.

Owen: I have important medical stuff to do.

Jack: Owen this is probably your fault your not getting out of it.

Owen grumbled but went back to reading the fanmail. Some fan was going on about an alien lamp they had. Did aliens even use lamps?


	56. Follow the leader

biancurath: technically they have Torchwood's address, actually maybe they have Ianto's address too.

comealongsong: thanks for the alert.

Continued plot point from last chapter.

* * *

Ianto sighed."Jack our fangirls are following us home again."

Jack looked around."Are you sure?I don't see them."

"I'm as sure as I was last 'd think you would be better at knowing whether or not we're being followed."

"Hey I'm-"then two girls fell out of the tree behind them. The girls nervously giggled and didn't appear to be hurt. They asked Jack and Ianto for their autographs and if they could join Torchwood.

Ianto turned to Jack. "See? I told you."


	57. Knowledge

biancurath: sorry some of the words went missing when I saved but it's fixed now.

* * *

Ianto: Jack you've been here since the 19th century how do you not know any Welsh.

Jack:I do but I only learned enough to seduce people and curse.

Ianto: but what if you got lost?

"I have a keen sense of direction Ianto I-"then he walked into a lamppost.

"I'm guessing your keen sense of direction told you that was there."

"Oh shut up."

* * *

In some fanfics Jack doesn't know any Welsh but he's been in Cardiff for two centuries wouldn't he at least know enough Welsh to seduce people with? Also I can't remember anyone in Torchwood actually speaking Welsh.


	58. Fish

biancurath: I'm glad you agree. :)

* * *

Jack and Ianto were at an aquarium.

Jack: this fish kind of reminds me of you.

Ianto: which one?

Jack: the one who looks like he's wearing a suit and the grumpy looking fish is Owen. The very social fish is me.

Ianto: you mean the fish that's bothering all the other fish? Yeah that seems like you. What about Gwen and Tosh?

Jack: hey people enjoy my company! And I'm not sure about Gwen's and Tosh's fish.

Ianto: but they don't enjoy you telling them how you once did a slug alien. I did so not want to know how that was physically possible.

Jack: if you didn't want to know why did you ask?

Ianto: it was a rhetorical question! Hey what about the fish that looks like it's wearing glasses?

Jack: but Tosh doesn't usually wear glasses.

Ianto: hmm, hey that fish that keeps following your fish is Gwen's fish.

Jack: she doesn't cling to me like that.

"Yes she does."

"No she doesn't."

"Yes she does."

"I think I would know if someone was clinging to me. Hey that shy fish over there is Tosh's fish."

"OK but I still think Gwen's fish is the clingy one."

"Let's go look at sharks."

* * *

I don't think there are actually fish that look like their wearing a suit or glasses but I could be wrong.


	59. Roof

biancurath: I think you meant time **and** space. But can you imagine a fish that looks like it's wearing a suit? I think her animagi form does look like it was wearing glasses but I don't really remember.

Meatball42: thanks for the alert.

I hope to one day get to a hundred drabbles.

* * *

"I don't get why you stand on the roof all the time," Ianto told Jack. He was standing on the roof too now but at least he wasn't on the edge of the roof like Jack was.

"Your on the roof too, Yan," Jack pointed out.

"Yeah because you are."

"If I jumped off a bridge would you do that too?"

Ianto sighed."Your avoiding my question."

"No I'm not! I stand on the roof because...um...well you avoided my question!"

Ianto face palmed.


	60. Before

biancurath: that or it makes him feel like a super hero.

Continued plot from Chapter 50: Kid Again.

* * *

Ianto frantically searched for the now five years old Jack and found Jack in his office hiding under his desk and crying. Ianto put his hand on Jack's shoulder.

"Jack?What's wrong?"

Still crying, Jack looked up at Ianto."Am I bad person?"

"Of course not Jack."

"But I did so many bad things when I was an adult."

"Your a good person Jack you've just made a lot of mistakes."

Jack shook his head. "You don't even know most of what I did."

* * *

I'm not sure about how I ended it so I might edit this chapter later


	61. Double

biancurath: I didn't think of spoilers I just figured it seemed too complicated for a drabble but you have a point.

* * *

An alternative version of Ianto had stumbled out of rift and ended up getting along very well with this universe's Ianto.

Owen groaned. "As if two Iantos weren't bad enough but why are they kissing?"

"I don't know if I'm jealous or turned on," Jack admitted.


	62. Could be

biancurath: yeah another typo but it's fixed now. I don't know where my head is these days.

* * *

"You know it might not be his."

"There aren't many people with sonic screw drivers out there Yan," Jack replied not taking his eyes off the broken sonic screwdriver, there were dents all over the sonic screwdriver and every now and again it made weird noises but didn't appear to be working.

"But still it could be someone else's."

"It looks just like his sonic screwdriver, no innuendo intended. And if it is The Doctor could be in serious trouble and we have no idea where he is."

Ianto put his hand on Jack's shoulder."We'll find him."

"I hope your right."


	63. Jones meets Bond

biancurath: I didn't think of that, your probably right.

Torchwood Cardiff: thanks. I'm glad you like it. :)

Torchwood James Bond crossover

* * *

"Bond, James Bond."

"Jones, Ianto Jones." Ianto and James shook hands.

"So what brings you here ?"

"MI6 needs Torchwood's help." James looked around. "Where is the rest of Torchwood?"

"The rest of the team will be back soon. Want some tea or coffee?"

"Do you have anything stronger?"

* * *

Tosh is like Torchwood's Q.


	64. Ianto's help

An alternative version of the previous chapter.

* * *

"Jones, Ianto Jones."

"Bond, James Bond."

"Nice to meet you Bond, James Bond. I'm Captain Jack Harkness."

"So what brings you here?" Ianto asked.

"MI6 needs your help Mr. Jones," Bond answered.

Ianto sighed. "What is it this time?"

"OK now I'm confused," Jack said.


	65. Sleep tight

biancaruth: he's Q and James Bond combined. Maybe because Ianto didn't ask what MI6 is but in chapter 64 Bond was only asking Ianto for help.

I Love Janto: hopefully things will work out.

* * *

"...and they all lived happily ever after," Jack finished. He closed book. The kids had come into Jack and Ianto's room and asked Jack to read them a fairytale but the story had put both Ianto and the kids to sleep. Jack smiled as Ianto and the kids cuddled closer to him.

_I should read stories more often, _Jack thought and he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

I couldn't decide if it should be Ianto's neice and nephew or Jack and Ianto's kids.


	66. Under the Moonlight

biancurath: true.

* * *

"There are a lot of poems about the moonlight," Ianto told Jack as they looked up at the full moon.

"I know a famous poem about the moonlight, do you want to hear it?" Jack asked.

"I'd love to hear it."

Jack told Ianto the poem. "I slept with the person who wrote that poem, you wouldn't believe what he liked to do under the moonlight."

"Jack you ruined the moment."

"Sorry."

* * *

Sorry for not including a poem if I ever find a famous poem about the moonlight I'll go back and edit it into the chapter.


	67. Super Torchwood

Owen laughed. "Tea boy."

"It's better than Grouchy Man."

"Ianto, Owen don't fight," The Captain a.k.a. Captain Jack Harkness said. "We don't want to wreck the town with our super powers after all."

"How can you be so sure we have super powers?" Super Brain a.k.a. Tosh asked.

"A formula that turns us into super heroes but doesn't give us powers? Seems really unlikely to me," Jack answered."Don't you agree Cop Woman?"

Gwen: I really want to change my super hero name.


	68. Doesn't Care

biancurath: aw your not stupid.

Torchwood Star Trek: Next Gen crossover.

AU in which Ianto is a member of Picard's crew and Jack is a Q

* * *

Ianto: I feel really bad about it. Jack didn't do anything wrong I was just having a really bad day and took it out on him.

Councellor: have you told Jack that?

Ianto: I would but I can't find him. He probably doesn't care anyway.

Then Jack appeared holding flowers, chocolates and a puppy. "I'm sorry for whatever it was I did," Jack said. Ianto just looked at him stunned. "What is the puppy too much?"


	69. Lullabies

biancurath: I remember too.

* * *

Sometimes Jack sang Ianto lullabies. Usually when neither of them could sleep. Sometimes the lullabies were in some language Ianto didn't recongize but he didn't let that bother him and he cuddled closer to Jack who ran his fingers though the Welsh man's hair as he sung.

"Jack how do you know all those lullabies?"

"I've had a lot of children Yan." He sounded a little sad as he said that and Ianto wanted to ask him about his kids but Jack went back to singing before he could ask anything. _"Ro__ck a by baby..."_


	70. Perfect

"So the devise trapped you in the illusion of your perfect world...was I in it?"

"Of course you were Yan,"Jack answered. He thought back to his perfect world. He and Ianto were married in it but he couldn't bring himself to tell Ianto that.

"Really?"

"Yeah it's not a perfect world without your coffee." Ianto threw coffee into Jack's face.


	71. Handy

biancurath: yeah but he does say "at least I won't get pregant. Never doing that again" in the first episode so I wonder if he's given birth a lot. I thought John was omnisexual like Jack. Yeah if only he had said those things in the series.

* * *

To everyone's surprise Ianto's hand had grown back.

"I wonder if I'm immortal now like you," Ianto said not sure how he felt about possibly being immortal.

Jack looked around awkwardly and pulled a hand in a jar out of his bag. "It's your hand, I thought you'd need to get it reattached so I found it. So what should I do with it?"

"Throw it out I'm not playing second fiddle to another hand."


	72. Captain Jack

Torchwood Pirates of the Caribbean crossover

* * *

Captain Jack Sparrow: look here there's only room enough for one Captain Jack on this ship!

Captain Jack Harkness: return Ianto and I'll get off your ship.

Captain Jack Sparrow: once he opens the treasure chest he's all your's.

Captain Jack Harkness pouted. "But I can't wait that long!"

Ianto: and how am I supposed to open any chest with my hands tied?

Sparrow: I'm not untying your hands until I get my treasure!

Harkness: I'm not leaving without Ianto preferrably with his hands still tied.

So both Jacks ended up staying on the ship until Sparrow got his treasure and abondened Ianto and Harkness on a deserted island.


	73. Tea and Coffee

biancurath: I'm glad that the chapter was fun. Thanks I've never been good with spelling.

Contunuing the plot line of chapters 55 & 56.

* * *

Ianto sighed. Torchwood's fans had gotten his address and they kept sending him tea and coffee.

"Since you have so much coffee to spare mind making me some?" Jack said. Ianto turned towards Jack.

"This is serious Jack! The fans are stalking us! They know where Torchwood is and they know where I live! This is going too have consquences a lot more serious than me having too much tea and coffee!"

Jack and the rest of Torchwood looked up at Ianto in surprise.

"Geez teaboy just don't make Jack coffee if it bothers you so much," Owen said before Ianto threw a can of coffee at him.


	74. Where he wants to be

I Love Janto: thanks. :)

Set after Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.

* * *

Ianto feels sad as Jack looks up at the night sky because he wonders if Jack is thinking about The Doctor when he looks at the stars. He knows he can never compete with the man Jack waited two centuries for, the man who's hand he kept in a jar (which Ianto secretly thinks is sweet in a creepy way. Although if lost his hand he totally wouldn't want Jack to preserve it in a jar and stare at it) and The Doctor would live for centuries like Jack did. The Doctor was a brillant hero. He wonders if Jack would ever wait for him like he did for The Doctor. He knows The Doctor isn't in love with Jack but what if Jack suddenly went off to travel with The Doctor again? What if he doesn't come back to Ianto again?

Jack turned to Ianto. He wonders why the Welshman looks so sad. "Not much for star gazing are you Yan? I know I'm much more interesting to look at."

Ianto fakes a smile not really in the mood for talking.

Jack's smile fades and he turns serious. "Really what's wrong? You can tell me. Did I do something wrong?" Ianto shakes his head not trusting himself to speak. "Did you do something wrong?" Ianto shakes his head again. "Come on tell me," Jack pleads.

Ianto sighs. "Do you miss The Doctor?"

"Sometimes," Jack admits. "But..." he gently takes Ianto's hand. "I'm really glad I came back to Torchwood and more importantly back to you."

Ianto smiles."It's good to have you back sir."


	75. Handling it

biancurath: thanks I'm glad it's hilarious. Thanks I really wish Jack and Ianto had had more scenes together in the series but at least there's always fanfiction.

I'mAGeekNotANerd: thanks for the fave and alert.

TigerLover: thanks for the faves and alerts.

Following the "if Ianto was immortal" plot line from chapters 46 &71

* * *

Ianto and Jack lay together side by side in Jack's small bed in the hub. Ianto had died again and he wondera how Jack handles dying. Jack dies pretty often and dying doesn't sound like something anyone could really ever get used to. He considers asking Jack but it feels like a stupid question. After all it isn't like there is a way to make dying and coming back to life less painful.

Jack looks at Ianto intensly. Then he gently kisses the places where Ianto was previously injured as if trying to kiss better invisible wounds. Ianto gently runs his fingers though Jack's hair as Jack kisses him. After Jack stops kissing they silently stare at each other until Jack speaks.

"Now I know how you must feel Ianto having to see me die so many times. If you had stayed dead I don't know what I would have done."

"I know," Ianto replies. " I love you sir."

"I love you too Yan and don't call me sir." They laugh and then kiss passionately. Eventually they fall asleep in each other's arms. Jack falls asleep first and while looking at Jack Ianto thinks that he could handle being immortal as long as he has Jack.


	76. Tie

"Jack what did you do with my tie?"

"Why do you assume I have it?"

"Because everytime I take a nap you take my tie off while I sleep. This wouldn't be the first time I had to find my tie because of you."

"Excuse me for not wanting you to choke to death but I don't have your tie."

"I don't know! Tie goblins."

"Tie goblins? Seriously Jack?"

"Weirder things exist."

"If I don't have my tie back by the end of the day no sex for a month."

Jack pouted."But Yan-"

"No buts."

Later Torchwood found what looked like a goblin sleeping in a nest of ties. Ianto manages to find his tie in the nest.

Jack turns to Ianto. "See I told you I didn't take your tie!"


	77. Inaccurate?

biancurath: but why wouldn't Jack give Ianto his tie back if he had it? I have seen Stardust but I never made the connection between Stardust and Janto. Great movie though.

* * *

Torchwood watched an old episode of Star Trek together.

"Let me guess this is extremly inaccurate," Owen said interrupting Jack. "You point inaccuries everytime you watch scifi stuff. Just enjoy it for once."

"That's not what I was going to say at all. And actually Star Trek is pretty accurate."

Ianto turned to Jack. "Don't tell us you've met Captain Kirk," he said.

Jack smiled. "Alright I won't tell you."

* * *

Whether or not Jack has met Captain Kirk I'll leave up to the reader.


	78. For your thoughts

biancurath: maybe Jack was kidding.

* * *

Jack cuddled with Ianto in Jack's bed. Really it was more of their bed with the amount of time Ianto spent in it. Ianto figured if he ever moved in with Jack they would live in Ianto's place had more closet space for starters. Not that he expected Jack to move in with him or vise versa.

Jack completly unaware of Ianto's train of thought inhaled Ianto's scent. The Welshman smelled a lot like coffee. Ianto wondered why Jack was sniffing him.

Ianto: a penny for your thoughts Jack.

Jack: I'd much rather get a kiss for my thoughts.

"Deal," Ianto replied and kissed Jack.

Jack: you smell great.

Ianto: you were born in the 51st century with all those pheromones around I probably smell pretty dull by comparsion.

Jack shook his head. "Most of them weren't coffee scented." Ianto laughed. "So were you going to give me a penny?" Jack asked. Ianto gave Jack a puzzled look. "You said a penny for your thoughts," Jack explained."If I hadn't asked for a kiss then you would have given me a penny right?"

"Of course not it's just a saying Jack."

"No your just cheap." Ianto sighed. This was going to be a long night.


	79. Alien Hotel

Ianto and Jack had gone undercover as honeymooners to investigate aliens occurances at a hotel. Even though it was a fake honeymoon Ianto had expected it to be more romantic. Instead he was covered in alien goo and chasing after a mind controlled Jack. _Worst fake honeymoon ever, _Ianto thought. And he had had to go on fake honeymoons before back in Torchwood 1 which had really bothered Lisa and it had bothered him too. None of those fake honeymoons had been romantic of course but he figured pretending to honeymoon with Jack would be different. He guessed that this was what he got for getting his hopes up. But he didn't really have time to dwell on it.

Jack turned a corner and then went though a door. Ianto followed suit. The room they went into was large and had a lot of other mind controlled people. What the aliens had actually wanted with the honeymooners Ianto never did find out and he wasn't sure if he wanted to know. But at least he had managed to free the honeymooners from mind control once he found the device that the aliens were using to control them and destroyed. After that the aliens flew off in their spaceship and none of their victimns remembered anything but that had to do with seeing or being controlled by aliens.

Jack: what happened to you Yan?

Ianto: it' s a long story sir.

* * *

Random Torchwood thoughts that have nothing to do with this drabble but I feel the need to express anyway: in one episode Jack said he dated a guy with no mouth am I the only one who wondered if Jack was talking about Slender Man when he said that? If the members of Torchwood were characters off of Glee I think Gwen would be Rachel because they seem the most emotional, Ianto would be Kurt I figure Kurt looks a bit like Ianto and I guess that would make Jack Blaine. I don't know who Tosh would be but I can imagine Owen as Sue for some reason.


	80. So sorry

Beca Harkness-Jones: I'm glad you agree but I haven't decided if I'm doing a Glee crossover chapter but if I do I hope it is funny.

biancurath: sorry I didn't mean to mentally scar you. Sue and Owen are both pretty grumpy maybe that's why. Yeah distracting Jack should be especially easy since their both already in bed.

Set after Cyberwoman. Spoilers for Cyberwoman.

* * *

"Hey Lisa? It's me Ianto. I feel kind of silly talking to a bracelet but after Myfawny ate you you didn't really get a grave or anything and it was one of your favorite pieces of jewelery." Ianto paused and took a deep breath."I tried I really did try to save you but I couldn't. I couldn't help you. I-I love you so much and I couldn't save you. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." Ianto sobbed. "You died as a cyberman and it's all my fault." Ianto paused for a moment fiddling with Lisa's bracelet. "I just wish you'd come back. Please come back. I'm so sorry." Ianto stayed up all night talking to Lisa's bracelet.

* * *

It would have been great if Torchwood had a scene where Ianto tells Jack he understands why he killed Lisa or just says I forgive you.


	81. Slushies

biancaruth: good point.

bob the tartsurian: thanks for the fave.

AU in which the members of Torchwood are teenagers and part of Glee. I hope I didn't make Jack out of character in this chapter.

* * *

"Jack how can you drink a slushie right now?" Ianto asked. They had been getting splashed with slushies ever since they joined Glee.

"Sorry I didn't mean to offend anyone," Jack replied. But he continued to drink his slushie anyway.

Owen: what's eating you slushie boy?

Ianto: don't call me that! You get splashed with slushies as much as I do!

Owen: why don't you just leave Glee? I'm going to.

Tosh: but you have such a lovely voice!

Gwen: Tosh is right you can't leave Glee!

Tosh: well I never said that I just don't think he should leave.

Owen: your not in charge of what I can and can't do Gwen. I'm going to go find Mr. Shoe to tell him I quit. Seriously I joined Glee to get girls not to get slushies in my face. Well I'll see you guys later.

Jack: free slushies isn't so bad.

Owen turned to Jack. "Seriously Jack get your head checked." And then he walked off to find Mr. Shoe.


	82. Strange pets

I Love Janto: thanks.

biancurath: I wonder if anyone could join Glee and still be considered cool.

emmafanningscats: thanks for the fave.

* * *

Ianto turned around to find Jack holding a glowing blue cat and giving him puppy dog eyes. The cat seemed to be giving Ianto puppy dog eyes too if it still counted as puppy dog eyes when a cat did it. Kitty cat eyes?

Jack: it followed me home can I keep it? Pleeease!

Ianto sighed."Well I guess we can't send it back where it came from so-

"Thanks Yan!" Jack said and then he spoke to the cat. "Good news Bluebell your staying!" Bluebell meowed in reply.

"You named it Bluebell?" Ianto asked. He had expected a lot stranger name.

"Yeah. What would you have named a blue cat."

Ianto shrugged. "Well you should check that Bluebell isn't dangerous."

"I already did that. Bluebell is perfectly safe."

"And I better not see cat hair everywhere."

"I can't help it if Bluebell sheds."

"Jack..." Ianto said sternly.

Jack sighed. "Clean up cat hair got it." And Jack ran off before Ianto could introduce anymore rules. Off in the distance Myfawny sqwaucked and Ianto really hoped that Myfawny wouldn't eat Jack's cat.


	83. Names

biancurath: I'm a cat lover too. Weird I could have sworn that I had already fixed that.

Warning- Mpreg.

* * *

Ianto: Jack for the last time we are not naming our child Janto Jorkness!

Jack: why not? It perfectly combines our names.

Ianto: it's a ridiculous name! Do you want our kid to get bullied and hate us?

Jack was silent for a moment and Ianto thought he might have finally won until Jack said "What about Iack Harkones?" Ianto face palmed.


	84. Drunken Ramblings

"Let go of me!" Owen exclaimed as he tried and failed to get away from Ianto. Ianto sighed.

"I'm just trying to help you home."

"I can drive myself!"

"No you can't your drunk."

"What did you say about my wife?"

"Owen you don't have a wife."

"I know when I've had enough!"

Ianto looked at him puzzled. "Enough of what?"

Owen tried to answer but then he fell over unto Ianto. Ianto swore as he tried to get Owen- who was heavier than he looked- off of him. Then Owen started mumbling "I love you man."

"Owen get off me!" But the medic just fell asleep. _At least no one's here to see this, _Ianto thought.


	85. The thought that counts

biancurath: the team probably has a lot of drunk Owen stories. I don't know maybe he doesn't care and he's just trying to annoy Ianto.

* * *

The team baked Jack a cake.

Owen: we don't know how old you are so I found you an infinity sign shaped candle.

Jack laughed.

* * *

I don't know if infinity sign shaped candles actually exist.


	86. What to do?

biancurath: thanks.

* * *

The team was looking for something to do.

Jack: we could play truth or dare.

Ianto: not after what happened last time.

Jack: it wasn't _that _bad.

Ianto: yes it was.

Gwen: truth or dare sounds fun.

Ianto: you wouldn't be saying that if you had ever played it with Jack.

Owen: truth or dare is for girls.

Tosh: we could go to the movies.

Jack: which movie?

Owen: I'm not seeing any chick flicks. Personally I think we should go drinking.

Ianto: you always want to go drinking Owen. Most of the pubs here would be out of business if it wasn't for you.

Owen: at least I know how to have fun!

Ianto: someone of us don't need to have a hangover to have fun.

"Ianto's very fun," Jack agreed with a wink causing Ianto to blush.

Gwen: Tosh's movie idea wasn't bad. I hear there's a good scifi movie showing.

Owen: our lives pratically are scifi. Why see it? We're living it. Besides Jack would point out the inaccuries thoughout the entire movie.

Jack: it's not my fault those movies are so inaccurate.

Tosh: there's this romance movie I've been dying to see

Owen: sounds like a chick flick.

Tosh: there's a museum exbit today on technology.

Owen: boring!

Ianto: let's just write all the suggestions down and put them in a we'll do what's picked out.

And so the suggestion that was picked out was Truth or Dare.

Ianto: you better keep this at least PG13 Jack.

Jack: aaw! Where's the fun in that?

* * *

I haven't thought of any truths or dares for the team to do, suggestions are welcome. But I might just end this chapter's plot here.


	87. Sudden talent

biancurath: yeah they do.

* * *

Ianto sat in only his boxers while Jack still had most of his clothes on.

Ianto: your cheating.

Jack tried to look innocent. "Me cheat?"

"How else would you have suddenly gotten so good at chess?"

"It's strip chess, I'm good at anything that gets you naked," Jack replied with a wink. And then he moved a pawn forward. "Well it's your turn Ianto."


	88. Bossy

Jack pulls Ianto back into bed.

Ianto: Jack I'm going to be late!

Jack: I'm sure your boss will forgive you.

Ianto: I'm sure my boss wants me at work in time to make coffee. And I'm sure my boss isn't going to have any coffee ever again if he doesn't let go of me!

Jack reluctantly let go and let Ianto get ready for work.

* * *

Should I change this story's rating to M or am I just being paranoid? Also in Something Borrowed when Gwen said there'd be no secrets in her marriage does that mean she told Rhys about her affair with Owen without retconning him?


	89. Story

"Jack can you tell me a story?"

"Sure thing Yan. Once upon a time there was an extremly handsome captain."

Ianto rolled his eyes but let Jack continue the story. As the story continued Ianto laughed and awed at the right parts. Eventually Ianto fell asleep. Jack pouted. Ianto never heard the end of his story. He considered waking Ianto but the Welsh man looked so cute and peaceful when he was asleep.

_And they all lived happily ever after, _Jack thought before drifting off to sleep.


	90. I want to marry Jack

_"And Jack do you take Ianto to-"_

_"Stop right there!" John commanded."He can't marry him he's engaged to me!"_

_"What no I'm not!" Jack exclaimed._

_"And me!" Gwen shouted. And then Owen and Tosh said Jack is engaged to them._

_"No he's marrying me!" Grey said._

_"No I'm not your my brother!" Jack replied._

_Myfawny: actually he's mine._

_Jack: no I'm not and since when can you talk?_

_Soon the church was full of people claiming to be engaged to Jack. Then The Doctor showed up and asked Jack to come travel with him._

_"I'LL NEVER BE ENOUGH FOR YOU WILL I?" Ianto shouted at Jack. And then Ianto ran off._

_"IANTO WAIT! THIS IS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING!" Jack yelled after Ianto._

_Then the priest turned to Jack and said. "I'm engaged to you too."_

Then Jack woke up. Ianto looked at him concerned. "Are you OK Jack you look like you were having a nightmare."

"I'm fine Yan. It was just a really weird dream."

* * *

I asked Cleverbot if Jack loved Ianto. It totally didn't answer my question but apparently it's engaged to Jack. Also Cleverbot proposed to me but I said no.


	91. What happened last night?

biancurath: Spelling mistakes fixed. In my mind Jack and Ianto are married in my mind. That chapter was written but yeah poor Ianto probably had to hear so many long stories. What does farcical mean? Jack always cheats but I'm not sure how to play strip chess either.

* * *

Jack and Ianto woke up in each other's arms in Ianto's bed. The were both still in the clothes they wore yesterday expect Jack had Ianto's tie tied around his forehead and was missing his pants and Ianto was wearing Jack's coat and missing a shoe. There was glitter in Jack's hair and someone had wrote **Tea Boy **on Ianto's forehead.

There were Christmas lights on the floor and a cat who's fur had been dyed pink jumped onto the bed.

"I didn't know you had a cat," Jack told Ianto, his speech still slurred.

"I don't," Ianto replied. They later found Jack's pants hanging from the chimney of Ianto's apartment like a flag.

"How drunk did we get last night?" Jack asked as he put his pants back on.

"On a scale from one to Owen, probably Owen."


	92. Stands for

biancurath: I don't drink either. Jack and Ianto would love to know what happened.

* * *

"I is for Intelligent?"

"Thanks Jack."

"A is for Adorable. N is for Neat."

"I seem to be the only neat one in this team expect for Tosh."

"T is for Tea."

"You better not start calling me teaboy. Why does Owen call me that anyway? I rarely ever make tea and everyone loves my coffee. Coffeeboy would make a lot more sense."

"O is for offend-able."

"Who isn't offend-able? Why do you have to make the letters of my name stand for something anyway?"

"Because a sexy man like you deserves a cheer."

Ianto rolled his eyes.


	93. Curious Jack

biancurath: I forgot about all those I words, I feel so stupid.

OtakuSAnime101: thanks for the fave and alert.

* * *

Jack: um, it was an accident.

Ianto: how do you accidentally unwrap all the presents?

Jack: I just had to know what was inside! I only meant to open a few.

Ianto: they weren't even your presents!

Jack gave Ianto puppy dog eyes. "I'm sorry," he said.

"Sorry won't rewrap the presents! Seriously I can't leave you alone for five minutes! After I finish rewrapping these you better not open them again!"

"I won't I promise."


	94. Saving you

biancurath: thanks. I love writing about Jack being childish.:)

* * *

"I can't let you do this you could be trapped for years if you do!" Ianto exclaimed. He had expected Jack to argue but instead Jack pulled him into a kiss. Then Ianto fell unconcious as Jack had been wearing knockout lipstick.

_He's going to kill me when he wakes up_, Jack thought before he rushed off. If he was going to save everyone he couldn't waste anytime.


	95. Serious talk

biancurath: because Jack has really bad luck and Ianto said Jack could be trapped for years.

* * *

Rhiannon walked up to Jack. She put her hands on her hips and glared at him. "We are going to have a serious talk about how you treat my brother," she said."You should stop taking him for granted!"

Jack backed away slowly. "I have work to do. We'll talk about this later, OK?"

"CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS YOU SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW!" she yelled at him. She scared him so much that he did sit down. She then spent the next couple of hours telling off Jack.


	96. Unnoticed

biancurath: yeah he is.

* * *

Ianto smiled, glad to finally be back in his own body. And then he turned around and slapped Jack.

Jack rubbed his cheek. "What was that for?' he asked.

"I was stuck in a different body for months! How did you not notice?" Ianto replied angerily.

"The person you switched bodies with was a very good at acting," Jack said, which caused Ianto to slap him again.

"You don't know me at all!" Ianto exclaimed before storming off.

"Yan wait!"

"You seriously should have let me stay in his body," the guy who had previously switched bodies with Ianto said. Jack glared at him and then ran off after Ianto.


	97. How much do you love me?

biancurath: yes he does. Although if that had happened in the series I think-or hope really-that Jack would have noticed.

* * *

"Jack how much do you love me?" Ianto asked.

"More than words can describe," Jack answered.

"Jack!" Ianto sounded annoyed.

"But I do! I've never loved anyone as much as I love you and I'll always love you."

"I love you too."

"Really how much?"

"More than coffee." They laughed and then kissed.


	98. Human again

biancurath: yeah me too.

The last cat Ianto chapter.

* * *

The team had finally found a cure and managed to turn back into their regular human Jack wasn't happy about this.

Jack: I'm going to miss what you did with that tail.

Ianto: well there are still plenty of things I can do with a stopwatch.


	99. Presents

biancurath: yeah it is.

According to fanfiction Jack really loves winter. I know its early but this is a Christmas drabble.

* * *

Jack and Ianto watched the snow fall. "I never saw any snow unti I joined the Time Agency," Jack said."I love snow."

"You'll love your present then," Ianto replied.

"You got me snow?"

Ianto laughed. "Of course not. Don't be silly." And then he handed Jack his gift. Jack unwrapped it quickly.

"Jack I could have reused that wrapping paper!"

"Sorry Yan." Jack looked at his present. "Snowflake shaped chocolates, thanks."

"I'm glad you like it.I hope you didn't forget my present."

"Of course not." Jack handed Ianto a large gift which turned out to be a coffee maker.

"I'm still mad at you for breaking the first coffee maker."

"'Tis the season for forgiveness Yan."

Ianto sighed. "OK I forgive you but you better not break this one too."

"I won't I promise. Hey since we just made up how about we have the rest of our presents in the bedroom?" Jack winked at Ianto.

"Alright but I'm not dressing up as Santa. Seriously Jack some festishes should be kept to yourself."

"But you look so good in red!" Ianto rolled his eyes.


	100. 100 years

I've reached a hundred drabbles. I feel so proud. This drabble follows the if Ianto was immortal plot line.

* * *

Jack: happy hundredth anniversary Yan.

Ianto: you remembered.

"Of course I did," Jack replied. He raised his glass. "A toast to hundred years of marriage. May we get at least a hundred more anniversaries."

"A toast," Ianto agreed and they clinked glasses.


	101. Saving him

biancurath: returns? They didn't go anywhere. No I was just missing a word.

Future fic.

* * *

She was only four years old but Anwen had just saved Jack's life. Jack struggled with how to thank her and tell her to be more careful at the same time. _Oh Gwen is going to kill_ _me, _he thought.

Anwen looked at him curiously. "You don't care about danger," she said.

"I'm immortal," he replied. "And your too young to be doing Torchwood stuff." He sighed. "But the important thing is that your OK."

Anwen shook her head. "No the important thing is that your OK."


	102. Dear Diary

biancurath: yeah she is. I like Gwen more in the last two seasons than I did in the first season.

I'm running out of ideas for these drabbles. Hopefully I'll find my muse again soon. In Fragments Jack has a diary but this diary is never mentioned again after that episode. I wonder what happened to it.

* * *

Ianto had found Jack's diary or rather diaries. He hadn't meant to read them...OK maybe he had but only a little bit of the first diary and it was hardly unfair considering the amount of times Jack read his diary.

Anyway curiousity got the best of him and Ianto was half way though the third diary when Jack caught him. Ianto stared at Jack not sure what to say.

"I'm sorry," Ianto said and he was sorry not just for invading Jack's privacy but for how sad Jack's life was.

Jack glared at him. "Your going to put that back where you found it and never speak of it to anyone," Jack commanded. "Understood?"

"Yes sir," Ianto said and did as he was told. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"I'm postive."

"I'll just go home then. See you tommorrow sir." After Ianto left Jack found a new hiding place for his diaries.


	103. Jack's farewell

biancurath: yeah it is.

Set during and spoilers for End of days.

* * *

Jack didn't usaully take this long to come back and unlike Gwen Ianto was sure that Jack's luck had finally ran out. So he changed Jack's status to deceased and was surprised when a video popped up. It was a video of Jack and he said:

_"Hey, Captain Jack Harkness here. If your watching this I'm finally permantly dead or you think I am. Or I'm going to be trapped somewhere for years, or I'm missing. Anyway Tosh don't worry I'm sure the team will find a way to save you from U.N.I.T. Tosh, I couldn't have wished for a better friend or smarter teammate. Also your brillant, kind, tough and beautiful and I'm sure the right guy for you is out there._

_"Owen you better have gotten my autopsy right I'd hate to be buried alive. You better not take me being gone as an excuse to pick on Ianto. Your a brillant doctor Owen and a grumpy friend, it was nice knowing you._

_"Gwen this job has a way of dulling your humanity but I hope you'll always stay the Heart of Torchwood and don't you dare let your life slip away Gwen Cooper._

_"And finally Ianto. You've done so much for me and there's so much I want to tell you." Jack was silent for a moment. "I don't know what's wrong with me but even now I'm having trouble saying it... I love you Jones, Ianto Jones." Jack went silent again. "I'm proud of you team and I hope whatever happened to me wasn't boring or embrassing. Good bye." Jack blew a kiss to the screen._

And then the video ended and Ianto burst into tears. When Jack came back to life later Ianto was relieved beyond belief and sorry that this time he hadn't been there for Jack.


	104. Anything for you

biancurath: aw thanks. It's a good flavour.

Should I go back and expand on one of my previous plot points? Maybe I should at least try to write a drabble for a different pairing.

* * *

Jack: its good to have you back.

Ianto: how is it that you'd go though so much trouble to save me but you never take out the trash when I ask?

Jack: when the trash tries to kill you I'll take it out.

Ianto rolled his eyes.


	105. Annoying Ianto

biancurath: thanks, yeah he never will but that won't stop Ianto from trying.

* * *

"Ianto I'm bored!"

"I don't have time to entertain you Jack. Read a book for once."

"Hey I read!"

"A book other than my diary."

"That was one time!"

"No one believes that sir. Now if you don't mind I have to get back to work."

"I do mind."

"Well that's too bad, don't blow anything up while I'm gone."

Jack rolled his eyes. "I'm not a child Ianto, I can be left alone."

"You wouldn't think so with the way you act."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing sir." Ianto left the room carrying a tray of cups of coffee.

"I didn't get any coffee."


	106. An unlikely solution

biancurath: I don't know maybe he's just really bored without The Doctor.

* * *

Torchwood was saved from highly dangerous invading aliens by Ianto tripping and spilling coffee all over the aliens. The coffee somehow killed the aliens.

Gwen: how is that even possible?

Owen: maybe they were allergic.

Jack: its kind of funny really.

Ianto: sorry sir but I broke your favorite mug.

Jack: on second thought its not funny at all.


	107. Stuck here

Torchwood Cardiff: thanks.

biancurath: I know that typo is already fixed. Yeah I probably should have typed him freaking out about the coffee instead.

Set somewhere after Out of time. Where did Diane go when she flew though the rift? Crack fic.

* * *

Diane: where am I?

Servus Snape: your where all the characters who were written out go. If your lucky they'll bring you back one last time. Now if you'll excuse me I have to Lily.

Diane: hey wait! How do you get out of here?

Servus Snape: the writers of your universe have to bring you back to life for that to happen.

Diane sighed. Not a big chance of that happening. _I should have stayed with Owen, _she thought.


	108. Paint me

I love Janto: yep :)

BaOgden: I'm glad that made you happy. Thanks for the fave and alert.

biancurath: thanks that means a lot to me, I was afraid that chapter didn't make sense.

Feebleplatypus: thanks for the alert.

* * *

Ianto: that artist we just saved offered to paint me.

Jack: naked?

Ianto: no.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure. She just wants to paint my face, she says it's very symmetrical."

Jack winks at Ianto. "Your symmetrical everywhere."

Ianto blushed. "Thanks Jack."

"I've been painted naked before."

"Why does that not surprise me?"

"The guy who did it just couldn't get my nose right."


	109. Greater good

biancurath: that's good to know. :)

Set before Gwen joined Torchwood, spoilers for the first episode.

* * *

Suzie looked at the glove. _One day I'll be able to bring back anyone, _she thought. But for now she needed pratice using it so she plunged the dagger into someone's back. _  
_

_Its not personal, its necessary, _she thought as she watched the person die.

* * *

I hope I didn't make Suzie out of character.


	110. Banned

Ianto stopped Jack. "Seriously Ianto you can't ban me from the archives, I'm your boss." _If only I was allowed to whip him for stuff like this, _Jack thought. _Damn red tape._

"The last time you were in the archives you completly trashed the place looking for a file that turned out to be on your desk. I'm not letting you undue months of hard work in five minutes again."

"It was an honest mistake! Besides you love organizing." The look that Ianto gave him made Jack glad that he was immortal. Ianto ended up getting Jack the file he needed.


	111. Happy world didn't end day

ryafire1: I don't think your mean. I didn't find out about that book until after I typed that chapter. Thanks for the fave.

biancurath: or in Ianto's case months of work. I'm glad it fits what we know of her.

* * *

Jack held up his glass. "Here's to the world not ending." He clinked glasses-or in Owen's case bottle-with the rest of his team.

"As fun as your parties are Jack I'm going to go pick up some girls," Owen said after he finished his bottle.

Gwen: and I should get back to Rhys, he's probably worried sick.

Jack: see you guys at the next world didn't end party.

Eventually Tosh remembered something she had to do and left. Jack turned to Ianto and said "It looks like it's just you and me."

Ianto: not much of a party now.

Jack winked at Ianto. "Why don't we take the party to my room?"

"I'll meet you there sir," Ianto said as he grapped the champagne bottle and two glasses.


	112. Breaking point

John: there's no need to get mad eye candy.

"No need to get mad? You nearly blew up the hub!" Ianto yelled. John had been doing nothing but annoying him all day and now this happens.

John: on second thought do get mad, your very sexy when you do.

Ianto punched John so hard that John fell onto the floor.

John: you can really hit eye candy.

"Stop calling me that!" If Jack didn't get back soon he was pretty sure he was going to kill John, regardless of the important information John claimed to have.


	113. Run away

rya-fire1: I guess he does, preference of poodles aside.

biancurath: I'll take your word for that. Ianto will probably do that after he finds out what John knows.

Feebleplatypus: thanks for the fave.

This is set somewhere before the end of season 1.

* * *

"Sometimes I wonder if we should both run away from Torchwood, live a mudane life somewhere."

"That would make Rhys and Ianto pretty mad."

"We could take them with us."

"Yeah. Of course if anyone ever found out I was immortal we'd have to say bye to pretending to be normal. Not that your not normal."

"I'm a bloody alien hunter Jack, of course I'm not normal. I guess the idea is silly anyway."

"I doubt either of us would ever do it but its nice to dream." They were both silent for a moment. "Its getting late you should get home."

"But the rift-"

"I can watch it by myself, if anything happens I'll call you. Good night Gwen."

"Good night." Jack watched her leave and when she was gone he sighed and turned back to the rift.


	114. Jones

biancurath: that sums Torchwood up perfectly.

* * *

Gwen: the soda is called Jones funny, huh?

Ianto: no not really.

Owen: so teaboy has the same name as a soda, who cares?

Jack: it certainly doesn't taste like Ianto. Mmmm, Ianto flavoured soda would be-

Owen: stop before you mentally disturb us even more than you already have.

Tosh: uh, its good soda.

* * *

Years ago in Canada I drank Jones, but I haven't seen Jones here in Australia. Maybe its just really hard to find.


	115. Smell

I love Janto: I didn't know you said that but I agree.

biancurath: thanks its been a really long time since I drank it but I'm pretty sure its good soda.

* * *

Of course when Ianto woke up and saw Jack was gone he had assumed that Jack had snuck out while he was asleep. He hadn't noticed that most of Jack's clothes where still on the floor, if he had he probably wouldn't have been caught sniffing Jack's pillow-well really it was Ianto's pillow as it was his bed but it was the pillow from Jack's side of the bed- by Jack who was standing in the doorway wearing only his coat and boxers and carrying a plate of eggs and bacon.

"I should have known, you only like me for my smell," Jack joked. "Well this wouldn't be the first time, I-"

"I don't usually sniff your pillow while your gone! Actually I never do expect for today, I don't know why I did really," Ianto said quickly.

"Relax Yan, its no big deal. Breakfast in bed?"

"I don't want to get crumbs on my bed." But Jack walked over to the bed and handed Ianto the plate anyway."It smells good."

"But not as good as you smell." Jack winked and Ianto blushed. He had a feeling Jack wasn't going to let him forget about this.


	116. Unlucky day

biancurath: yeah it is pheromones. But cheating at what? Also yay my hundredth review!

* * *

"Its Friday the thirteenth."

"Jack I'm not superstitious and neither are you. Now get up or I'll make today bad luck for you."

"But Ianto-"

"Now Jack!"

Jack got out of bed. "If I get bad luck I'm blaming you." Ianto rolled his eyes.


	117. Mistletoe

biancurath: good advice but I have a feeling Jack would do a lot of that.

Twistedfatesoftime: thanks for the alert.

Christmas drabble.

* * *

Tosh tripped and knocked over Owen and they fell onto the ladder which Gwen was standing on. Gwen and the bucket of mistletoe she had been carrying went flying though the air. Owen managed to catch Gwen and the bucket of mistletoe landed onto Ianto's head and Ianto fell into Jack's arms.

Jack smirked and kissed Ianto on the cheek. Even though the bucket was still covering most of Ianto's face Jack could tell that the Welshman was blushing. _I love mistletoe,_ Jack thought.

"Jack mind getting this bucket off my head?" Ianto asked.

"Sure thing," Jack replied and he took the bucket off and set it down. "Your cute when your covered in mistletoe." Ianto turned redder than the mistletoe.

Owen: hey nobody wants to see you two get all lovey-dovey!

Gwen: Owen you can set me down now.

Owen blushed and set Gwen down and then Gwen helped Tosh up.

Jack: mistletoe is for kissing.

Owen: he's not under the mistletoe he's covered in mistletoe.

Gwen: oh where's your Christmas spririt?

"Hey if you and Tosh want to make out under the mistletoe I'm all for it," Owen told her. Gwen scowled at him. In the end Jack took Ianto to his office, Gwen got the ladder back up and continued hanging mistletoe and Tosh and Owen got back to work.


	118. Wrapped up

I love Janto: thanks. Yeah he will.

BaOdgen:thanks.

* * *

Ianto was usually excellent at wrapping things and he had no clue how he ended up wrapping himself up instead of Jack's present. He tried to get up but his arms and legs were tightly wrapped so he nearly fell to the floor but someone caught him just in time. He knew straight away that it was Jack from the smell, there was nothing quite unlike fifty-first century pheromones.

"I can't wait to unwrap you," Jack said as he scooped Ianto up into his arms.

"But I haven't finished wrapping."

"You can do that later."


	119. Steve

I love Janto: yeah it does.

Torchwood Yugi Oh! Abridged crossover

* * *

Ianto: why don't you just use your millennium rod to mind control us?

Marik: because it only works on people named Steve.

Gwen: but you mind controlled Jack.

Marik: his real name is Steve.

* * *

I've been watching old episodes of Doctor Who. I saw the episode where the Doctor first met the Daleks. EXTERMINATE!


	120. Photographic memory

Erika-Barnard: thanks for the fave.

Warning: Mpreg

* * *

Jack wondered if the baby was going to look more like him or Ianto when it was born. He of course didn't remember how he had looked when he was a baby but he was sure he was adorable. He knew he could hardly go back to the 51st century and ask his parents for his baby photos but Ianto's baby photos might be easier to get. Jack reached for his phone and called Ianto's sister.

Later when Ianto came home he heard Jack and Rhiannon laughing. Rhiannon heard Ianto come home and quickly hid the photo ablum underneath a cushion.

Ianto: what's so funny?

"Nothing," Jack replied still giggling. Looking at Ianto's baby photos had quickly turned to Jack and Rhiannon discussing Ianto's most embrassing moments. When Ianto left the room they burst out laughing.


	121. I have to go

biancurath: maybe he could ask John if he ever shows up again. Sorry spelling isn't my strong point. Yu gi Oh! Abridged is a parody of Yu gi Oh! Yep he definitely does. Thanks.

I love Janto: I hope so too.

TravelingMystery: hmm, I don't see anything wrong with your sortings.

Warning Mpreg

* * *

"Jack for the last time _yes _I have to go!"

"Can't you make some excuse?"

Ianto sighed. "And say what?" he demanded."Sorry but my immortal pregnant husband from the 51st century can't spare me for two days?"

Jack pouted."Why can't someone else from the team go?"

"Not all of us can come back from the dead, so obviously Torchwood needs a doctor, nobody can hack or figure out alien technology like Tosh can and Gwen lacks experience in dealing with U.N.I.T."

Jack tried to find a flaw in Ianto's logic and pouted again when he failed to. "What am I going to do without you for two days?"

"What do you normally do when I'm not home?"

"Get bored mostly." Jack gave Ianto puppy dog eyes."Your going to call, right?"

"Yes Jack. But I'm sure you'll be fine."

"I love you."

"I love you too." He galnces at his watch. "Well I don't want to be late. Bye Jack."

"Have a safe trip, if your not back in two days I'm going to assume your dead." Ianto rolled his eyes and gave Jack a good-bye kiss.


	122. Street Smart

biancurath: yeah hopefully Jack will mature but I doubt it. Babies are cute but I'd hate to have one.

I love Janto: that's so true.

* * *

"Hey Yan look what came out of the rift!" Jack grinned broadly and held up a street sign with **Sexy St **written on it. "We should put this in our room."

"No, we should put it in the archives. It might be something from another time line."

Jack pouted and gave Ianto puppy dog eyes. "Pleeease?"

"No." Ianto snatched the sign out of Jack's hands.

Jack pouted. "OK but if I find a Sexy Welshman Street I'm keeping it." Ianto rolled his eyes.

* * *

On my way to work I pass by a street called Gwilliam which I think sounds like Gwen and William combined.


	123. Dear Lisa

I've been reading plenty of letter fics recently so here's my attempt at writing one.

* * *

_Dear Lisa,_

_I hope you come back. People come back to life sometimes, why shouldn't you? If I knew how to I'd bring you back myself. I miss you much. The world seems darker without you and everything reminds me of you. I love you and I always will._

_But I don't know why I'm writing you this letter, you can't read it now and it won't bring you back but here I am writing it like an idiot. If it would bring you back I'd write you a million letters, maybe I'll write you a million letters anyway. I'm so sorry that I let you down. I'm sorry that I couldn't save you. I hope we can be together again one day._

_Forever yours, Ianto _


	124. Dear John

_Dear John,_

_No you were definitely the wife. By the way have you seen Ianto? If you have you better not have hurt him._

_Sincerely your ex husband Captain Jack Harkness._

_P.S.: seriously if you have Ianto give him back!_


	125. Dear Jack

Contains spoilers season two and Children of the Earth. Set after Children of the Earth but before Miracle Day.

* * *

_Dear Jack,_

_I'm never going to give you this letter and I'll probably destroy it because I'm sure as hell not going to let Rhys find it. But I suppose I have to get all the stuff I can't tell you out of my system so here I am writing this pointless letter._

_Your my biggest "what if?" Jack. What if you had never run off with the Doctor? Would I have still married Rhys? Maybe I would have ended up with you or maybe you would have always chose Ianto no matter what. You did choose Ianto didn't you Jack? Did you really ever love him? I don't remember you ever telling him you did. I hope you love me._

_Then there's another "what if?" that makes me feel like a terrible mother. I love Anwen but sometimes I wonder what if you and I had had a baby together instead? Would that child have had your eyes? Or your sense of adventure? Maybe you would have never settled down even if we had had a kid together. Its hard to imagine you domesticated. Maybe no one could domesticate you, at least not fully. Domesticate you? Sorry Jack I'm making you sound like a bloody cat or something. Although you seem more like a dog person. I'm not a big fan of cats myself. When I was little there was really mean cat next door that- I'm getting off topic. Focus Gwen focus! ...I didn't mean to write that._

_Anway another really big "what if " is what if there was no Rhys or Ianto? Would we have even met? Would we have gotten together? Gone on dates? Or at least had sex. Maybe we would have made a horrible couple but I think we could have worked._

_Of course there are countless more "what if"s. I have more and more "what if"s about you each day. _

_Why couldn't you have stayed for me Jack? None of it was your fault and I need you. Please come back._

_Love Gwen_


	126. John's reply

biancurath: I would have hated them getting together too but I think she is interested in him and Jack did leave in the series. Don't worry he's probably OK. Thanks. Maybe it is Scottish, I don't know how they decide street names.

I love Janto: yeah, I figure Ianto would win most of the arguments.

* * *

_Dear Jack,_

_But I was a good wife. Also no I don't have eye candy nor have I seen him. Maybe he's left you. You really should have stayed with me._

_Love John Hart_

_P.S.: If you find eye candy do you think he'd be up for a threesome?_


	127. Love Ianto

rya-fire1: thanks. Yeah, he probably wouldn't be up for it.

biancurath: you'd think so.

I love Janto: thanks. Poor Ianto. Gwen is pretty clueless.

* * *

_Dear Jack,_

_You gave me the week off, remember? Seriously I might as well be talking to a wall instead of you sometimes. Would it kill you to listen? Also you never mentioned that you were still in contact with John. Do you write letters to all your psychopathic exes? And no I won't have a threesome with him._

_I'll come back to work tomorrow._

_Love Ianto_


	128. Lucky Love

Jack could cook although he was often very random with his ingredients so a lot of what he made looked potentially poisonous. But his cooking had never killed anyone. Well not a lot of people and in his defense those were very complicated alien dishes.

Anyway Ianto woke up to Jack making breakfast. "Happy Valentines day Yan."

"Thanks but why are the pancakes clover shaped?"

Jack's smile instantly faded."Their supposed to be heart shaped."

"Oh. Well I'm sure they still taste great." He picked up a four leaf clover one. "Maybe this will bring me luck."

Jack beamed. "Well you won't know until you eat it."

_Or maybe not, _Ianto thought. Thankfully when he bit into the pancake it did taste pretty good.


	129. Wishes

biancurath: actually the fairies in Torchwood do look dangerous and in some cases mermaids look dangerous too. Thanks. He's not dead he just can't find Jack.

Set before the end of season 1

* * *

Jack and Gwen stopped and looked at a shooting star.

"Wishing for the right type of doctor?" Gwen asked.

"No wishing for a pair of gloves I lost the ones Ianto gave me."

"He's not going to be happy about that."

"Do you think he'd believe that an alien ate them?"

Gwen laughed. "Nope. You might never get coffee again."

Jack pouted. "Speaking of coffee I wonder why he didn't get me coffee unstead of gloves...Or a more physical gift," Jack added with a wink.

"Don't go there Jack."

Jack pouted again. "So what did you wish for?"

"Some hot chocolate, its bloody freezing out."

"Yeah it is. We should probably be going back." But they gazed at the night sky for a while longer before getting into the car and driving back to the hub.


	130. Admit it

I love Janto: so true, poor Jack.

biancurath: oh, yeah those fairies don't look scary. No one should ever forget about the little things.

* * *

"You just can't keep your eyes off me, can you?" Jack asked leaning in close to Ianto. "Not that I can blame you." He winked at Ianto.

Ianto blushed. "I have no idea what your talking about. I've been reading."

"You haven't turned the page in twenty minutes."

"I'm a slow reader."

"And your holding the book upside down."

"I prefer to read this way."

"Come on Ianto, I keep catching you staring at me just admit it."

"I have no idea what your talking about sir."

"Yes you do. Admit it or else."

"Or else what?"

"Or else I'll make you admit it."

Ianto rolled his eyes but mentally kicked himself for being so obvious. "That's creative sir," he said sarastically.

Jack smirked. "We both know how creative I can be and we both know that you've been staring at me."

"I wasn't staring at you so can we please just drop it?"

"Not until you stop lying." Jack paused for a minute, there had to be a way to get Ianto to admit he was staring at him. "I know, why don't we check the CCTV footage?"

Ianto sighed. "Fine I was staring at you."

"I knew it!" Then Jack closed the distance between them with a kiss.


	131. Valentines day

biancurath: me too. When Ianto winked in one scene my heart melted.

I realized I didn't give Tosh her own chapter yet and somehow ended up with this...

Set before Gwen joined Torchwood, spoilers for Cyberwoman.

* * *

"Do you have any plans for Valentines day?" Tosh asked Ianto who shook his head. He honestly didn't know how he was going to spend this Valentines day, since Lisa was part cyberwoman now he couldn't really celebrate Valentines day with her. "I was thinking was thinking we could hang out together this Valentines day," Tosh continued. "As friends of course, not that your unattractive or anything."

Ianto hadn't been aware that they were friends, not that he had anything against her. He guessed she hadn't worked up the nerve to ask Owen out and he didn't really want to dwell on not being able to spend the day with Lisa so he agreed to spend Valentines day with Tosh.

"Great I'll see you then," she said cheerfully. But Ianto knew that she would rather spend the day with Owen although not as much as he'd rather spend it with Lisa.


End file.
